ROD Better Yet, Just Die!
by Ryuu Soba
Summary: A mistake in the flow of time has transported Yomiko Readman into the Saiyuki World! Read on to see how the Sanzo Gang handles this strange book worm and helps her in her quest to destroy the IJin agent! Not a marysue or self insert.


_Disclaimer: I don't own R.O.D or Saiyuki. _

* * *

_Yomiko…_

Nancy?

_Yomiko…_

What? What do you want?

_Help me…Yomiko…_

Nancy? Nancy I can't see you!

_Yomiko…please don't leave me!_

Nancy? Nancy please, I'm falling!

_Yomiko!_

Nancy! Nancy please! Help me!

_Yomiko…wake up. _

* * *

"Hey? When is she gonna wake up?"

"Stop asking me that! Stupid monkey."

"No one asked you, pervert!"

"Shut up, idiots!"

"Sanzo's right. She's waking up!"

Yomiko Readman opened her blue eyes slowly; she saw four young men crouched around her. One had a childish look on his face, the other a kind smile, the next had a smile she didn't like and the last was frowning.

Something about those eyes…

Cold…

Heartless…

That outfit…

Those scrolls…

"You!" Yomiko cried and sat up straight, nearly bumping heads with the brown haired young man who was closest to her.

Sanzo blinked lazily. "What about me?"

Yomiko shook in fear and tried to back away, scooting across the rough desert ground, clutching the book closer to her. The book she hadn't finished yet. The book Nancy died for. The book she fought this monster for.

"What's your problem?" Sanzo asked.

Yomiko shook her head rapidly, nearly knocking her glasses clean off her face. "Get away…" she whispered in fear. None of them moved. "Get away…" she whispered again.

Goku reached out to help the strange girl to her feet. "Here, lemme-"

"I said get away!" Yomiko yelled, clenching her eyes shut and reached for a slip of paper in her pocket and sliced off a section of Goku's bangs off before he had a chance to blink.

Gojyo backed away as fast as his rear end would move. "Holy shit…she just pulled that blade outta no where!"

Hakkai tilted his head and observed the girl with a slight smile. "No, I think its paper."

Sanzo sighed and cocked his gun. "We don't have time for another demon. I want to keep moving." He shot a bullet at Yomiko and turned his back, marching back to Jeep with out another word. "Alright, move it along people, nothing more to see here."

"Sanzo…"

He turned around and his droopy violet eyes widened. The bullet was on the desert ground, in pieces. A paper shield surrounded the mysterious girl. Goku was no where in sight.

"Goku." Sanzo called shortly and received a muffled reply.

"I'm in here!"

Hakkai bent fore ward and knocked on the white circular dome. "It's as hard as steel." He said half to himself.

Gojyo too bent fore ward and examined the small prison. "Well, he's stuck in there. Now if we hurry, we can get in Jeep and be half way to India by the time he gets out." The half demon turned to march or run which ever you prefer to Jeep when Sanzo nearly shot a bullet through Gojyo's toe. "Ack! Or not. Jeebus…"

* * *

Goku seethed from inside his prison. "Stupid Kappa… he muttered to himself and turned to the weeping dark haired female who was also trapped in the paper prison, clutching a small black book close to her chest. Goku's tender brown eyes softened and he reached out to the girl. "Hey, what's the matter? No need to cry."

"He killed her." Yomiko said flatly before returning to her silent crying.

Goku frowned. "Who killed her? Who's she?"

"Nancy…he killed Nancy."

"Who killed Nancy?"

"…Genjyo Sanzo of I-Jin."

Goku backed away from the girl in disbelief. "No, Sanzo wouldn't kill a girl for no reason. Nancy must have been evil!"

Yomiko shook her head and the paper prison dissolved into individual paper bits, all retreating back into Yomiko's large cream colored jacket. She shakily stood and flashed her I.D at the group and did her best to put on a firm face but her legs were shaking.

"As an agent of The Royal British Library's Division of Special Operations, I am placing you, Genjyo Sanzo of I-Jin under arrest for crimes against humanity,andthe murder of Agent Nancy Makuhari." Yomiko stated. "Please put your hands on the ground and do not make any sudden movements."

Said golden haired monk blinked and turned his back and began to walk back towards Jeep. "This is ridiculous." He muttered under his breathe.

Yomiko sweatdropped. "Hey! Get back here!" She attempted to pursue him when she tripped over a stray rock and fell. Luckily for her, Hakkai caught the young woman before she hit the ground. "Now, now. Easy there." He said kindly.

Gojyo picked up her I.D. and smirked. "Oh! She's twenty-three! She's legal!"

Goku glared at him and attempted to get the paper back. "Give that here you pervert!"

"Stupid monkey!"

"Perverted kappa!"

And a brawl broke out between the pervert and money, the I.D. was forgotten about and picked up by Hakkai. "I think this belongs to you." He said as he handed Yomiko her I.D. "Now would you mind telling us who you are and why you want to arrest Sanzo? Nancy isn't that common of a name and I think he would remember someone named Nancy."

Yomiko took the paper shakily and slipped it into her coat and fixed her glasses, which were nearly knocked off her face when she fell. "My name is Yomiko Readman." She said, looking at her shoes and kicking up dust slightly. "I'm an agent of The Royal British Library's Division of Special Operations; my code name is Agent Paper."

Hakkai interrupted gently "Are you a demon?"

Yomiko shook her head. "No, I'm as human as you." She failed to notice Hakkai's smile flicker. "I can control paper and turn it anything. A sword, shield, air plane…" she rambled on for a few moments of what she could do with paper and then it changed to how she loved her job as a substitute teacher until Hakkai cleared his throat. "Oh! Sorry."

Hakkai smiled again. "No worries please continue. What are you arresting Sanzo for?"

Yomiko's smile vanished. "Genjyo Sanzo is not human." She said almost robotically. "He is a mere clone of the great monk who traveled to India. He is a member of I-Jin, an organization that planes to destroy the world using a weapon known as the Suicide Wave."

This stopped the two dunder heads from fighting. "A Suicide Wave?" Goku asked.

Yomiko nodded. "The Suicide Wave is I-Jin's main weapon. The key factor for it to work is in this book." She showed them the book briefly, flashing its blood stained pages and then closing it gently and cradling it close to her chest. "And under the orders of I-Jin, Genjyo Sanzo attacked me and Nancy to get the book. He killed Nancy and nearly got the book. But then…" Yomiko paused and tears clouded her eyes. "I fell." She whispered.

Sanzo sat in Jeep; he had been listening quietly to the strange girl's tale. "I've never met a woman named Nancy." He said while pulling a cigarette out of one of the folds in his robe and casually lighting it and putting it to his lips. "I'm not a clone. I don't know of anything called I-Jin, now." He paused and glared at her with drooping violet eyes. "We'll be leaving, since you've held us up on our journey long enough."

Yomiko's head snapped up and she clapped her hands happily. "That's it! I-Jin is here and they some how got your DNA and used it later to clone you and then unleashed your clone on Nancy and me!"

* * *

Gojyo tilted his head and turned to Hakkai. "Where is she getting at with this?" he asked the older young man.

Hakkai blinked. "I think she's going to try something either very brave or very stupid."

* * *

Sanzo fore saw what she was going to suggest and answered shortly. "No."

Yomiko's smile increased as if she never heard him. "I'll travel with you until I'm sure the I-Jin agent is destroyed!"

"Let me rephrase this, hell no."

"But why?"

Sanzo growled and threw his cigarette away, not being able to enjoy its harmful fumes with the girl around. "I'm on a mission and I don't have time to drag alongsilly littlegirls." He said shortly. "Get in Jeep and let's move."

Yomiko cheered. "Great!"

Sanzo rolled his eyes. "Not you!" he yelled. "Hakkai, Monkey and Pervert!"

Goku huffed. "Hey! I'm not a monkey!"

Gojyo snickered. "Look, a banana!" he cried pointing to Jeep.

"Where?" Goku cried and dived into the back seat of Jeep.

Gojyo laughed and jumped over the monkey king and seated himself next to him. "Well, seeya around babe." He called to Yomiko.

Hakkai smiled and bowed to Yomiko. "Well, I wish you well Miss Yomiko."

* * *

Yomiko sputtered as the young men prepared to drive away. "Wait!" she cried and pulled a piece of paper out of her jacket and transformed it into a long chain and threw one end at Jeep, where it wrapped around the bumper and slammed the other end deep into the hard ground.

The four young men were soon about to find out that they weren't going anywhere any time soon. Poor, Goku, who happened to be standing to try and beat the hell out of Gojyo was sent flying through the air as the paper chain jerked on Jeep and forced the vehicle to stop. "Ahh!"

Sanzo looked back in irritation and frowned. "You just don't quit do you!" he yelled at Yomiko and turned to Hakkai. "Put some gas on it! What ever trick she's using can't hold out for long."

Hakkai frowned and did as told but stopped. "It's no good. She's got us." He smiled cheerily.

Sanzo cursed and whacked Goku upside the head with a paper fan just as the teen was about to climb back into Jeep. "Stupid Money." He seethed and stepped out of the iron machine and stalked up to Yomiko.

* * *

Yomiko was busy reading one of the many books she kept hidden in her large jacket. _Oh! I like this story!_

* * *

"Hey!"

* * *

_Yay! This is a love story!_

* * *

"Stupid Girl!"

* * *

_The Bad Boy falls for the Innocent School Teacher!_

* * *

"Are you ignoring me?"

* * *

_Yay! I love romance novels!_

* * *

"I know you can hear me girl! Answer me!"

* * *

Sanzo growled and glared down at the girl. She had her nose shoved in a book and was ignoring him! Him! A Sanzo! "That's it!" he reached down and ripped the girl's glasses off her face.

Almost instantly he felt a sharp pain in his finger. Sanzo blinked and stared. "Ouch."

Yomiko gasped and dropped the paper bit she had used to slash Sanzo's hand with when he plucked off her glasses. Yomiko hated that! It was a reflex she had developed ever since she could remember. "I'm so sorry!" she grasped his hand and brought it down to her level and examined the cut for a moment. "I'm really sorry about that, I just hate it when people touch my glasses." As she rambled on she used another paper bit to bandage his cut. "There!" she finished and released him.

Yomiko stared up with wide blue eyes into Sanzo's shockingly violet ones. "Did you want something?" she asked almost in a daze.

Sanzo plucked the book from her hands and tossed it in the back seat of Jeep and hit poor Goku in the head with the novel, knocking the poor monkey out. He then placed her glasses back on her face and motioned to Jeep. "Well, get in." he said shortly.

Yomiko blinked. "Really?"

Sanzo scowled and turned his back on her. "It's not like we can leave unless you take this leash off."

Yomiko smiled and ran to catch up with him, "Thank you so much! I promise you won't regret this!"

Sanzo groaned and climbed back into his seat. "I already am."

Yomiko smiled and climbed into the seat, stepping on poor old Goku, who was on the floor and sitting next to Gojyo who grinned. "So…" he said slickly while sliding over to her. "What's your name? I'm Sha Gojyo, but you can call me…" he blinked when he realized that she wasn't even paying attention to him and had her nose buried in her Romance Novel. "Damnit."

* * *

Kio: Well, I've had this idea stuck in my head for the better portion of six months ever since I saw Read Or Die on Adult Swim and the Sanzo clone in it. This got me going. Hey! What would happen if Yomiko fell into the Saiyuki world and met our favorite chain-smoking, trigger happy cursing monk. Bam! You have what I would like to call: Read Or Die…Better yet, Just Die!

I'm new to the Saiyuki fiction area so CC is welcomed and I crave reviews!


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